Hear n’ There

There will be a day when Allah and Jesus finally come to a decision and decide who is going to chair their version of the Supreme Court. The books tell us it will be called either al-Qiyamah or the Day of the Lord depending on which of the two wins. I sincerely hope the winner forgives me for quite a few things.

I tell you there is nothing worse than having a guilty conscience. It just drags you down to an abyss of something really really gooey and horrible. Ever heard about the phrase ‘weigh you down’ ? Conscience does not simply weigh you down like most things do. You know like- your weak stomach, your receding hairline or plain-jane bad luck. Your conscience is just always on a different plane, nay- a planet. A planet which pulls you down so hard that you wonder what’s the effing value of gravity there. A gravity so strong that it took three pages of digits in hexadecimal to actually put it down. I’ve heard reports that Chuck Norris lost an arm while trying to calculate the same.

I wish I had done something simpler. Maybe it would have been better if I were a fascist ruler or something. At least I could have taken a dip in some Holy River, stopped eating meat, chanted a thousand meaningful Vedic Shlokas and if I were regretful enough; all my sins would have had been cleansed by those beautiful atoms of Hydrogen and Oxygen. Alas, I doubt I will ever be the benefactor of such miracles.

It was a very interesting set of events that got me into blogging. I wish I could talk about that, but excuse me if I can’t do so now. My blogging enthusiasm since then has take the road much reviled. A road that follows an exponential decay path. Yet driving on this road has always been fun whenever I’ve actually taken upon the steering-wheel.

This blog which started as an attempt to actually test my skills in the open sea ended up being the treatment plant where all my garbage got processed, to just expunge out shite which insults the English language in such ways, that it probably got Jesus to send a messenger down here to order that all the Bible be translated to any language but English. Check out the previous sentence for example. I have left that unedited. Look at its length. If I go at this rate my words would be circumambulating this earth thrice before they finally find a period. Forget runny stringy sentences spliced the fuck with tense incongruity and subject-verb disagreements. I even stopped doing a second read. Punctuation mistakes and butchering of whole fragments in those long sentences is inexcusable. I hate to admit that I might have sacrificed diligence and sincerity to honor the innumerable Deities of Laziness I worship. For that I am sorry. Also for having lost interest in this blog.

So I beg for pity from the lords above without whom mankind would never have had invented the concept of blogging. I promise that I shall be regular and never ever ever ever write sentences that are painful to read.

The universe writhes in agony
With my constructs. Yes! I know.
The feeling is likewise. I assure you so.
How I beg your pardon
You, the omniscient, sure do see.
So do relieve my sins on your scales
For who the fuck likes misery?

Though how I don’t give a damn
I carry alternate plans.
Not all things your crystals perceive.
Convert to Scientology like Katie & Tom I will

Scientologists say that Aliens
With spaceships will end the world
Unlike those vindictive ones
Aliens prefer not to judge.
Let the them control the world
They haven’t read my writing

So who dareth stop me?
I like what I do
Learn, Oh good friend!
To live with it
Seeing more of me. That is.

EDIT: Those who are new here might want to take a look at my Favorites page in case they are too lazy to go through the archives.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 16th, 2008 at 8:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.