Hear n’ There

As usual with all my stories and poems, please provide feedback for the same. Criticism, as always, is highly appreciated. Inputs help in development of skills and help me gauge myself. If you liked this then please also read my last story, if you have not already read the same. I believe the previous story is much better compared to the current one.

Arthur Gold was as an ordinary man. No not an ordinary man who did so and so to become so and so. But just another man. He could well have been the proverbial guy next door. His life averaged around the average definition of the average. The hero of this story is as mundane and quotidian as one could imagine. In fact, to term him ‘hero’ would be erroneous and he shall hence be referred to as the protagonist. This tale is not one of adventure, comedy or tragedy or one with a mysterious murder to solve. Nothing of that kind normally occurs in normal lives.

Most stories start with visual descriptions of the hero (the protagonist in our case). The story excuses itself from the same and assures you that they were nothing special. You would not have recognized his face in the newspaper from someone else even if you would have seen him the previous day. No, he did not look ugly either- for that would have meant that you remembered him. Anyways you would not call being ugly ordinary, would you? Talking about newspapers, his name never graced either the Front Page, Business Page, Sports Page or for that matter any page. Yes a small obituary with his photo would have been published by his family on the second page at his death, just like most people. He was not among the rich and famous, who are envied; nor was he among the poor and destitute who are pitied. He was among them who did all the pitying and all the envying. He had a normal job - like most people. For which he was occasionally late - like most people; something for which he was always shouted at - like most people. In fact nothing in this story would shock you or surprise you. I shall perfectly understand if you do not wish to pursue reading any further. More intelligent authors know about this, and that is why no one writes stories about Arthur Gold or Jane Doe; for there are few who who like prosaicness- in prose or verse. Alas, this story has started and every story, good or bad (or to put it in the tone of this story- ordinary or extraordinary) has to have an ending.

I have already told you that Arthur’s fortunes never changed. He never discovered that he was a wizard on his thirtieth birthday. He never won a lottery, (he had once bought a couple of tickets and never again.) He did have have a college crush on someone, but like most people he never mustered the courage to ask her out. He never received a will from a distant aunt who died in a freak accident. One of his Aunts did bequeath him her property, but that hardly changes this character or story. His Aunt was not rich and she died an ordinary death. It is the Author’s belief that anything unremarkable must always be confined to unremarkable surroundings to remain so. Newton would have probably explained that saying Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and that reaction may lead to other actions. Le Chatelier would have said that change of any of the reactant mixture would lead to disturbance of the product equlibria. Shakespeare probably said something else which probably would be quoted among the higher echelons of the society when discussing things like these. The lower strata, as I previously mentioned, would have simply said ‘What? I don’t care”. Arthur said something which no one cared to remember.

He did not die at the ripe old age of 92 or at the young age of 47. Such was his case that he died at the ordinary age of 76. Adjectives, other than those synonymous to ordinary would never associate themselves with his name. No not even on his death. Reading his file, the ‘Keeper of Records’ who resides in the office next to God’s was thoroughly disturbed.

He asked the Master himself- “Oh Lord! What had he done, to deserve this plight? Why did he end up becoming what everyone fears the most and yet by definition everyone ends up being so- the ordinary? Why was he ‘Just another guy’. Could you not have helped him at some point of the time? Why do the Arthurs and the Janes have to be so?”

Master replied “Romilda Bagshot,whom Arthur fancied in college, reciprocated his feelings, though subtly so. She kept waiting for a proposal from Arthur, but finally decided to move along. Arthur’s life would have been much different had he been with her. Arthur only bought two lottery tickets in his life, one of which ended up being the winning number. I am yet to know why he did not ever look at the tickets which he bought. Arthur was to be given a substantial pay raise and a promotion in office somewhere near his thirty second birthday, but he came late that day. Five years after tha-”

“But sir, then is it not your doing that he was late for office or that he could not ask Romilda out. Are you not the one who controls fates, situations and circumstances?” interrupted the keeper.

“Dear dear, I can hardly be blamed for him forgetting to change the batteries of his alarm clock. Is it my fault that he could not go up and talk to Romilda? The ones who notice the consequences of not changing their batteries and the ones who have courage are the ones who becoming the someones from the anyones“

The keeper, thinking of the protagonist’s life that could have been, merely said “Only if he had…. Only if…How tragic!”

“How ordinary” his master corrected him, smiled; and resumed working.

You know what feels good? Writing a post in the normal way. That would be using internet on your laptop and writing all this sitting with legs outstretched. While I still think it is unusual to use GPRS for the same on a mac as one’s primary connection (and only), but then nothing unusual would not make for normal. It took me a lot of effort to connect to the internet, a lot. There was nothing wrong on the settings from my side, nothing at all. Those wretched bastards made excuses which deserves another post. May their bosses give them hell, who in turn be troubled by their wives and may their children continuously pester them for expensive things.

This has strengthened my determination to set up an India-Mac community blog. People interested can mail me or leave their views in comments. Prateek (whom I must thank for helping out with the connection settings too) has agreed for the same. We do know about everyone being busy, but even if you contribute some articles, something is better than nothing, innit? I think I will start work on this after I complete my internship. This would be on 18th. 20th night is reserved for going to Ahmedabad. The morning of 21st reserved for buying and reading the one. I will be traveling eight hours each way so that I can read the book the day it is released. I could have got it the next day, but who wants that. If you think that I am among those crazy Potter maniacs, then FYI- I am one and proud to be one. Yeah so I should start the blog some-where around that.

Gotta go, just downloaded two eboks that I have been looking for a long time. I literally asked every bookshop in India, and there ain’t many bookshops in Dubai, no kidding. They charge as if you are not buying Hitchhikers Guide To Galaxy but looking for a ride to to the International Space Station. The books are the two that Jo wrote for charity. If anyone needs any of the HP books (including the extra two) then ask

A toast to mankind for inventing things like EDGE, GPRS, Mobile Phones, ebooks, and Harry Potter!

First things first, I want an iPhone and I want it bad. I just wished it had 3G (which I think it will probably have in Europe) and a ‘Send to many’ messaging feature (which I think Apple will change via a software update) I must have read at least a hundred feeds about the phone. The good news for me is that I no longer have to worry about paying for the new phone. Dad has agreed to buy me one. That is some good news indeed, I just wish that the phones were available in India or Dubai. Errrgh.

Talking of money, poor old Bill Gates is no longer the richest guy in the world. The new guy is some mexican whose name that I don’t remember. I just read his name like twenty times in the last half and hour and I don’t remember his name! I would have attributed that to Alzheimers, but I do remember that I am not old enough. I think it is due to my cerebrum’s general disregard for anything related to what we would call ‘General Knowledge’. I used to be pretty good at that and I still consider myself knowledgeable enough when it comes to things like those, but my memory of things like the first living creature in space seems to be leaving me ( The first answer that my brain gave to the question was - Lenovo :p Then the words were Laiko, Laika and blah. Google tells me that the dog indeed was Laika. The name of the guy, the guy richer than Bill friggin Gates, is Carlos Slim)I still do not have internet with at my home. I have been accessing sites via GPRS and to be honest, I am glad that I have this connection. Even if it is on my stinky Nokia browser and not on iPhone’s Safari. Still, it is a real pain in the thumb. Chatting through your phone is just too hard on your thumbs (unless it is a phone with QWERTY keyboard (physical or not ;D) ) and so is typing anything. I cannot use the T9 dictionary for chatting also does not help (I once sent bra in place of brb to a female friend.) There are several other interesting word pairs too which you get on hitting the same keys, none which I am able to remeber now). It is good that I can read feeds easily on my phone and check mails too, hence giving me something to do. I changed my feed reader from Bloglines to Google-Reader just because of the latters ability to support mobile phones (also partly because of Scoble and Sumedh. The only thing remaining now is GTalk. Does anyone know of any Web-based messenger or Symbian phone application so that I can use the same? Other than Agile messenger or IM+ (which are not free). I wish google made one, their GMail mobile application is just fantabulous. I also miss not being able to do multiple things at the same time on the phone. Also I spent Rs 120 on GPRS charges yesterday alone.I really want to read the HPDH and I really want my Notebook battery and charger back and I want an internet connection.

I think my posts have been very off my blog flavor lately. I again blame the the above mentions three things for the same. I would also have blamed those things for this world going to dogs, if I knew if there was any chance that you would believe me. No, actually it is due to Microsoft Corp and Saas Bahu serials.

I have been reading ( re re re re re re…. reading) Harry Potter these days and I thought that Harry has to be blogged about. With the entire world talking, reading, dreaming, and thinking about Harry how can I be left behind? To top it all, my blog- small, young and naughty as it might be, does not contain a single HP post. How how how? I of all who would not only talk, read, dream, think about Harry but even would be eating and drinking HP if I could buy canary creams or cheeriness potions, not have a single post on you-know-what. Here is the first, of what I hope would be of several posts on HP. Here is a small list of characters whom I dearly like, other than the trio ofcourse.

Sirius Black: If you go through PoA carefully enough and look at his character development, you are bound to love him. The way he cares for harry brings tears to eyes. What I particularly like about him is that he does not care. Would you be laughing had you been dueling one of the Dark Lord’s closest associates?

Lupin: Lupin, ah he is a class act. He is the cool-headed guy, the mediator, the considerate guy; quite in contrast to Black. The way he carries himself, in spite of his tattered robes and the fact that he is looked down upon or not trusted, if not shunned, by a significant proportion of the wizarding world- which at a time included his best friends; is to be admired. In fact I almost pity him. I almost pity him, he has had everything taken away from him- James was murdered by Voldemort, Wormtail betrayed him and Black too is dead. To top it all Dumbledore is dead too. Thank god, at least he got Tonks now.

Tonks: Nymphadora Tonks, the metamorphmagus.Young  and full of energy, oh and daring too. Though the smallest (by virtue of word-length) character in this list, I still like her. I really like the way Jo writes her lines. She got this whole cheery charm with her.

Fred and George: I know they are two guys but they are and will always be associated together (add cheesy analogy here). Give me any line from the book and I can tell you who said that-except when it comes to the twins. I can never tell which of the two in particular said or did that thing. Find me someone who does not like them. I missed them a lot in the sixth book.

Dumbledore: He is the Gandalf of the Potter world, though the chances of him coming back are nil (Jo lierally said that “Dumbledore is not going to pull a Gandalf”). The moments where one sees the subtle and emotional side of Dumbledore will remain my favourites. A man who bore the burden of being wise. Spiderman may or may not have followed the line- With great power comes great responsibility, but you bet your wands, that Dumbledore surely did.

Neville: He is the odd one out in this list. It is not that my eyes gleam when I see his name, like they do when I see Fred & George’s; but I really like his character. Maybe it is that I always favor the underdogs, but he has been through a lot and you can see and feel the potential in him. He has grown considerably since the first book. I think he will be the perfect match for Luna Lovegood, if Jo pairs him with anyone, I bet it is her.

I may have missed some characters, maybe I’ll write them later.**Edit: I missed Ginny, she really has become a very interesting character since OOTP. Her coming to prominence so late probably being the only reason I am not so attached to her enough to be in this list presently** You may have noticed that neither Hagrid or any of the other Weaselys in there. I dunno why, I would feel really bad if any one of them died but maybe it is Hagrid’s dumb antics and Molly’s over-enthusiasm that I don’t like. Among the Weasleys my list would probably be like

Ron=(Fred & George)> Ginny> Bill (He is quite cool)> Charlie> Arthur> Molly> Percy (Does he have to be here?)

I think this made for a not-so-good post, but then I did not think that it would be so lengthy. I think another post on HP is due, probably having my predictions. One last word- Harry Potter rocks.

I have written so many posts, but the first few lines always take ages to write. It has to be interesting, unless people come to your blog before they go to sleep. You can describe a Saree on your blog but you will almost never start of with that. The backspace key is used liberally, because you do not want to do the work of sedatives by descriptions of maroon patterned Benarsi silk saree with yellow borders. The previous example is of-coursed nullified if your primary blog-audience are the ones who watch Saas-Bahu serials. Ahem ahem, back to reality, neither is my life as simple nor the guys who come here primarily interested in Kanchipurams or Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki; and hence the first few lines are always the hardest to write. The same actually also goes for the title of the post, but I tend to do that at the end as by then you are already in the groove. Pity, that you cannot begin a post at the end.

So I am back in the flow and I must not dwell any further on how to start my next post. Live in the present dears- the beautiful past is past, and the future promises to be horrible as usual. Live and Sing for the moment- even Eminem knows about it.

Talking about the future, I do want to go to the future- July 21^st being the precise date. For those who come from another planet, or were living in the International Space Station or something similar- that my dear is the day when the final HP releases and I am ready to go all the way to Ahmedabad on an eight hour journey to buy the book and then come back buy the next possible bus. Just so that I can be at peace with my self. I can get it couriered to me, but who the ruddy hell wants to wait another 2*24*60*60 seconds? Anything to read about horcruxes, RAB, Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, or Bertie Bott’s Every flavour beans. Anything. Those who did not understand a word should buy the complete works of J K Rowling and read it, else you can go and drown yourselves in Bubotuber pus after eating Dragon dung.

My laptop battery and the charger finally have come to India, thanks to a friend of mine. Hopefully I should be getting it delivered  to Kandla from Bombay, soon through someone or the other. That would be something very welcome as my current computer sucks. What also sucks is that I have no longer an internet connection at home. It will be sometime before I get the plan of my choice and also play World of Warcraft to death. It is so much better than being bored to death.

Talking of boredom, I am presently doing a internship. There ain’t really much work for me here and boredom would probably be laying its dark hands on me, but using my company internet to blog at work is fun.

I am presently thinking of starting an Apple blog which is India centric. It will help me do something more interesting than squatting flies. I don’t know if there is an audience large enough for this in India or whether I should just should just incorporate tech stuff in my present blog. It will have small details as how to use internet using WLL (Landling or Mobile) phones to use internet, Show-room details and things like that. Mac OS X support barely exists here.

Expect increased activity on this blog. It am of the strong opinion that office resources should be utilized to the maximum, and specifically internet.

I have a couple of entries saved as drafts, but they are not good enough yet. This is being posted because I wanted to post something. I think I have a working internet connection back home in Gujarat. I just hope, for the sake of my sanity, that the amazing MTNL 2 Mbps connection (Unlimited download *wink*) offer is available there.

I am blogging now to keep the promise that I made to myself that I should be blogging regularly. I also need to check if I’ll be mentally stable long enough to board my flight to Ahmedabad.

I overslept today and missed the WWDC. The new apple site is pretty slick, and the leopard features are hot. Check out Rungta’s cool LinkedList, which is a must for any blogroll.

I have always maintained that life is a bitch, and it hurts when she bites. A thousand different thoughts are echoing in my head. All very random. I want an Aspirin. Pain is relative. Inserting links is also a pain. Though I was talking about the migraine. I think I should sleep. It works better than Aspirin. My last few lines are is rhyming.

I really think I should be sleep, and I think everyone must try writing whatever that pops up your mind. Can make a nice post. Will experiment.Later I meant. Now I really need to sleep.

Ta-ta.

I am a pompous ass. I should be ashamed of several things. I am an ego-maniacal selfish bastard for thinking the way I do. The only thing that went wrong is that I was not born as in the OBC, oh no wait that is oh so passe. Who wants to be included in OBC when you can be a member of SC or ST.

Anyone with a brain in which a single neuron is working knows that reservation sucks. I mean-come up with an argument will you please. What is your excuse now, you were exploited so much by my tenth great grandfather that it is my fault that all reasoning skills elude you?

There is nothing new to say here. Everything that I can say of has already been said everywhere. It just makes no difference. I am filled with anger, without a place to divert it to. Where are we heading? A race between parties to classify more and more people into the backward classes. A race between communities to go in there. It is an easy choice when one has to really think about it for these families- A whole family in the administrative services for er……standing in line and getting a certificate.

This one is supposed to be about the things I like about summers….
Holidays. Frikkin’ holidays, dear frikkin’ hols

Yeah, I love mangoes and mango-shakes too. I have lived in Mumbai for like about ten years or so. People used to gift Petis of Hapoos all the time there. Alphonso rocks, we don’t need all those boxes to have Export Quality written on them to convince us that they are good.
Short Clothes. Power and water are not the only things that Delhi faces a shortage of during this season.

The end of the season. Amazing buy one, and get another for free discounts. Personal advice- Lee offers good schemes.

Birds. The lovely birds which come all the way from Siberia to India and help us gain foreign exchange from tourism and fill newspapers. For the record, I don’t care; as long as they do not give a shit near me.

Tags. Bloody tags which help me do something constructive, productive and useful on this blog.

Brain Cells. They work over-time figuring out what they I about the summer. It comes out with nothing. Impressive.

I am just sorry am supposed to write eight things; but I just cannot. Call me misanthropic, devil’s son or dad; I don’t care. I just hate summers. Next time I’ll do some extra tags. Just excuse me this time, it is really hot in here and I can’t take off all my clothes.

PS: I do not have any pending tags. Finally, and hope Tania excuses me for the delay. The next one will probably be a post of a more serious tone.

So I got another task to complete. I am supposed to write down Five things that you do not know about me.

I attempted to commit suicide. At the age of 12. Got caught. Did so again at the age of 15. Sleeping pills didn’t work. The last one was at 17, got caught and they sent to a shrink. She told me that I must hold myself in higher esteem, that I cannot think in the right sense on my own and that the fact that I failed thrice indicates the same fact (in short that I am dumb :P)

I am confused about my sexual origin. I sometimes think that I am bisexual, while I sometimes think that I am straight. Though I really wish that I were the latter. Maybe I am just a sheep as I said earlier. Easier said than done. Right?

I am not as fucked up as I am sounding now. People around me seem to like me, and I am quite popular. I have really changed. Though ironically I think that my IQ and ability to grasp things has dropped significantly

I used to be a kleptomaniac. I stopped all that in ninth. I only stole pens, I never used the pens as I feared that I’d get caught. I never sold the pens or gave them to anyone. I collected them all and I still have them. The costliest is a Mont Blanc worth Rs 4,000 I took from a teacher in boarding school. My shrink tells me that I should return back as many things as possible, this would make me look better in my eyes. I wish I could tell him that I only have 32 teeth, but my Dad pays him hourly for all the crap I have to listen. He said that he will seriously consider discontinuing my treatment if I share my experiences with as many people as I can. It is strange that I am beginning to like him though.

The most important of the five being that I prefer not to disclose personal information on a public forum. So the things that I have written could be utter gibberish, but then it means that you are relying on this statement of mine, which could be a lie too.

You keep a cat in a box which has some poison in it. The cat either ate the poison and is dead, or it didn’t and is alive. We don’t know till we open the box. A classic quantum mechanical question ( ‘Classic Quantum Mech’- how does that sound?)

I don’t care. Poor old cat though. Assuming the first four parts were actually true, which sentence has a serious flaw and proves that I am lying? You get ‘I AIN’T DUMB’ points from me.

PS: This post has been sponsored by Tania and her tagging system.

Back again. Exams have gone with the wind, and a thing of the past. Life is still a bitch, but ain’t she lookin’ hot! It is high time that I start avoiding cliches and phrases like the plague. So I am all poetic and all enthu and a lot of good and great things. This is to the shortest post ever.

Chingalala 1

Chingalala 2

Chingalala 3 ‘heh

Cya sooner than you expect.

Oh, and I forgot Chingalala 4. Didn’t I tell you life is going cukkudikaku in dream village?